Do this ⬇️

Though it FEELS like it in the moment, your child isn't trying to wind you up.

Just because they CAN put on their shoes doesn't mean they have all of the executive functioning skills to do that in every scenario. MANY don't even have the control to stop what they're doing and change tasks.

Instead of getting frustrated, raising your voice and accusing them of not listening. Do this:

1. Pause. Remember it's not personal.

2. Just because it's on your agenda RIGHT THIS SECOND doesn't mean it's on your child's. We must respect their autonomy and what they're doing - play is important too. They need plenty warning about a transition and time in which to complete the task.

"Just letting you know that we're leaving soon. Finish up your play there, it'll stay there until we get back again. Then get your shoes on".

3. Step in and help if you've asked once and it hasn't happened. You don't need to ask again. "I can see you're struggling to get your shoes. I'll help you to finish this play and we'll go get them"

4. Help with as many steps as necessary for them to be successful. You might leave the last step (fastening the shoes) to them so they feel success at the end of the task.

5. Talk them through the transition. Where you're going, why, for how long, who will be there, toys they can take etc. Things that are obvious to us are not always obvious to them. Assume they don't know all the plans.

6. Consider whether shoes are a necessity right now or if they're just causing a power struggle. We should never force or threaten them. It's totally ok to just take the shoes and put them on later when your child realises they need them. It doesn't mean they've 'won' it just means you were flexible enough to respect their autonomy.

Watch the full reel here