What to do when child isn't listening
Do this instead ⬇️
Feeling frustrated when your child isn’t listening? Let’s reframe our thinking and shift our approach to one that values our child’s autonomy and fosters cooperation.
Here’s how:
1. **Adjust Expectations**: Remember, children aren’t mini-adults. They need time and patience to understand and follow through on instructions and their brains are underdeveloped. Is now the right time to give a direction or are they tired, hungry, dysregulated and frustrated? Do they have needs that could be met first so they're in a better position to do what you've asked? Is their behaviour asking for help?
2. **Say it once then step in**: If it looks like they're not listening but they've heard, they might be feeling too impulsive to do what you've said or too engrossed to transition to something new. You can gently and kindly step in to support them to do as you've asked.
3. **respect their autonomy**: This isn't army camp. What looks like "just playing with lego" to us is actually a child's play and full time job. It's important to them and our directions aren't necessarily more important. Respect what they're doing and provide time for them to do what you've asked when they've finished.
4. **Stay Calm and Patient**: Your calm presence shows them you've got this and you're going to help them and hold your boundaries if they're feeling out of control.
5. **Offer Choices**: Instead of giving orders, provide options. ‘Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue one?’ empowers them to make decisions.
6. **Make everything into play**. Play is a child's language. "Come and jump down here with me, let's see who can get higher off the floor" sounds way more enticing than "stop jumping on the sofa".
"I'll close my eyes and you lie down somewhere in the house and I'll come find you" is way more fun than "i need to change your nappy now".
By respecting our children’s needs and making tasks enjoyable, we nurture their independence and strengthen our bond.
