Say what you would have wanted to hear.

We have such a HUGE impact on how our children feel about themselves as they grow. How we speak to them now directly affects how they speak about themselves and how they treat other people.

It can feel a little clunky at first, but make the time to say phrases like this to your little one. "I love you" means a lot but love is so broad and so subjective - digging down to the specifics is much more powerful.

Building our children up with these words (the kinds of things we would have loved to hear ourselves as kids) builds their sense of self and resilience for the world as adults. People used to believe that "tough love" built resilience but the opposite is true. People who feel confident in themselves and their abilities are the most resilient and we can impact that.

Try to weave this language into your every day life. Especially when things are hard, behaviours are difficult and you find yourself doing more correcting and directing. Check out my digital downloads at zazi.co.nz if you want a print-out reminder of things you could say.

Remember: you've got this.

Share the kinds of things you make a point of saying to your child to build their self esteem and make them feel loved.

Click here to watch to view the phrases