What to say ⬇️⬇️

If someone told you that you were a good baker, you'd start to believe them and bake more often.

If someone told you you looked good in blue, you'd probably wear blue more often.

See where I'm going with this??

When we start to BELIEVE something about ourselves, it trickles down into our behaviour and personality.

Our children are LISTENING... and they're smarter than we think. If they hear you say things like:
"You're being naughty"
"she's such a nightmare at bedtime"
"he's in the terrible twos stage"
"You're a brat"
"you're always causing trouble"

Then they take those on board. Those harmful labels become their inner voice and alter their perception of themselves. This can lead to a 'self fulfilling prophecy' - where our kids BELIEVE that they are naughty so then act out more because it's what expected of them.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD:

Rewire your thinking to remember that kids are KIDS, their brains are underdeveloped and they're doing their best with what they have. There's NO SUCH THING AS NAUGHTY - all behaviour is communicating a need or an emotion. Thinking this way will significantly reduce your frustration in the moment.

1. Look for any opportunity to praise good behaviour and effort. "Wow, you're working so hard on that tower!". They need to hear wayyy more praise than correction.

2. Suggest some brain and body breaks when you see behaviour escalating. Step outside for fresh air, offer to read a book, change activity.

3. Be a detective - work out what the behaviour is trying to tell you and respond to the message.

4. Redirect with something similar. If they're jumping on the sofa and you don't want them to, gently redirect to somewhere they CAN jump. "Let's jump over these cushions together".

Remember - You've got this.

Watch the full reel here