Watch & Listen ⬇️

Kids don't have the words or the maturity to express to us with words that they're having a hard time.
They SHOW us that with their actions, play and emotional expression.

The BIGGER the behaviour, the BIGGER the struggle and the underlying need.

When our kids act up, ask us to play or cling to us, they're saying "see me. I need your help. I'm struggling right now. I'm overwhelmed. I don't know what to do with these emotions".

Our kids are not naughty. They're not bad. They're not selfish. They're GOOD kids who are doing their best with an underdeveloped brain and low impulse control.
When we WATCH behaviours and LISTEN to their underlying message, we're much more likely to understand what our kids are trying to communicate.

Today, getting into the car after a great day at the beach, my son said:
"I hate the beach and I never want to come here again".
It stung for a second because I'd worked hard to give them a fun day. But because I was watching and listening, I heard:
"I'm tired, uncomfortable and overstimulated, Mam. I don't know how to handle this transition and this feeling".

Because I didn't see it as an attack or a bad behaviour, I wasn't tempted to snap back, threaten never coming again or make him feel bad about his outburst. We all say things we don't mean when emotions are high.
So I just listened.
I calmed myself.
I heard his cry for help.
I connected with him by initiating conversation about something he loves to talk about.
He relaxed.

When we got home, he waxed lyrical about how great his day at the beach was.

How do you react when your kids say harsh things?
Any other go-to phrases?

You've got this. @youvegotthispodcast

Watch the full reel here